During the holiday season between Thanksgiving and Christmas there is a wonderful swell of generosity, especially towards those who might otherwise go without. Many families are blessed with gift donations based on wish lists or just “surprise” gifts which are purchased based on the gender and ages of children and donated. And it tends to bring joy both to the giver and the recipient.

Parents relegated to passivity

But, many families I talk with, while very appreciative, are also embarrassed when a stranger shows up at their door bearing gifts. Or, if the gifts are not given face-to-face, but are purchased “on behalf” of the parents for the children, there is still the dilemma of their children receiving gifts, chosen and purchased by others, wrapped with love, but without any participation by parents – and they do not even know what “they” got their children. Let me say it again – the parents appreciate this generosity! But, the parents are removed from the joy of gift- giving to their children and fully participating in this ritual of showing love through gifting.

Is there a better way?

I’m not sure. But this year, for the first time, families in the Family Mentor Alliance program have been invited to participate in a program called Gift of Love that a local church organized to help those in need. Local agencies and ministries work with the church to identify families in need.

Gift of Love

Congregants purchase gifts...lots of gifts, for a variety of ages, including adults! They decorate and stock a beautiful “store” filled with these donated gifts. The families are invited (by an actual mailedinvitation!) to come at an appointed time and shop for gifts. The parents purchase gifts at 800ff of retail, with items costing $1, $3, or $5. Parents can spend up to $10/child. And the children in a family can together select a present for each parent at no cost.

Dignity in choosing and purchasing!

The families who are facing deep poverty and/or homelessness would be reckless to spend funds from their tight budgets on unnecessary toys and Christmas items. But what parent does not want to participate in this expression of love and giving? I believe this model provides a beautiful opportunity for parents to fully participate in the Christmas tradition of giving gifts with great dignity and without sacrificing necessary and healthy budgeting practices. While our families have not yet participated in this program, the response to this invitation has been filled with excitement!

Pretty Packages

I love getting beautifully wrapped packages with glittery bows and candy canes or poinsettias interwoven in the bows. But even more, I love getting packages crudely wrapped with an entire spool of tape, ragged edges, red Christmas paper and a pink bow that my young children and grandchildren have laboriously wrapped for me and topped with a hand drawn tag. There is tremendous joy in receiving such a unique package; so obviously wrapped with enthusiasm and excitement from the giver! With Gift of Love, families not only choose and purchase their gifts, but they get to wrap them and tag them, in an environment filled with festive foods, activities and crafts for the children.

It feels good to do good

I have adopted many families for Christmas over the years. Some of the families I knew from previous contacts at church, or work, or various agencies in town. Some were strangers for whom I received a wish list and filled it.I always felt so happy and blessed to be able to be on the giving end. Think about it... How many of us would like to be on the receiving end of these Christmas adoptions? Not many, I would guess. It is truly a great opportunity to be able to afford to buy presents and give them away. It feels good to do good. The saying, “It is more blessed to give than to receive,” rings true. And therein lies my challenge: how do I give in a way that doesn’t benefit me so much, but in a way that I would feel really good about if I were the recipient?

Is there a better way?

So I am back to the same question: is there a better way? Gift of Love is one way – a great way - to give the gift of giving back to parents for their children and vice-versa. Of course, not everyone can collect donations, set up a store, and provide this type of program. And I do not think that this local church wants to make it a city-wide event. The way it is currently structured is manageable, personal and filled with love and face-to-face care from church volunteers. But I invite you to ponder: is there a better way? We want to be generous and loving and giving! And there are many opportunities to share (our own SRM Christmas dinner for example). But perhaps this Christmas, in addition to the generous giving of money, gifts, food and other donations, we could also consider how we can support families to be able to be the givers? Might we also give our time and friendship - the gift of relationship to our hurting and hungry neighbors? The staff and volunteers at Springs Rescue Mission have been serving our neighbours experiencing homelessness, poverty and addiction since 1996. We are powered by the generosity of our community. Discover how you can get involved.